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The Ray Bradbury classic, 'The Car Alarm.'

"This is my new country song I wrote about my self-driving truck leaving me..."

"I used to love power, but now I'm more interested in mileage."

'Are we nearly there yet?'

"I hear you bought a new classic car."

"Would you please step into the garage? Your car and I need to have a word with you."

"Why do they call it rush hour when no one goes anywhere?"

"What old school? This is my life."

It's only firing on 87 cylinders!

My other car has a bumper sticker that says this on it too.

Route 666

Reserved space is reserved for a dinner table.

'You raised the price of air to 50c!' 'Inflation.'

"Can I talk to someone who knows something?"

"2 for 1 special: Clean, polish, buff, seal"

Smile

Dave's Discount Auto Repair...only an arm or a leg, not both!

Car wash / Mouth wash

"I hope you don't mind, but I stuck in a little prayer for General Motors."

"If they can rig emissions tests, why can't they fake crash tests too?"

Nice park. . .

I must be losing my grip, he didn't query the bill...

A man and woman use oars from within their car.

Tune up $90. Tinker $20.

"Fetch, Ernie, fetch!"

The average taxpayer will ultimately embrace the auto industry bailout. Hell, we sold em all that useless undercoating for all these years!

"You have $3,098 in the bank? I'm impressed! So...do you think about investing it?"

Tyre speaking to psychiatrist: 'I've been under a lot of pressure.'

'Nice smile.'

"Apparently it's my fault, somehow, that we have an S.U.V."