Automotive Absurdist Gifts

'It gets me from A to B alright but it won't get me from B back to A!!'

'Maybe it should be funnier...'

CLEAR!

'Don't you have a better escape plan than that?'

World's cheapest car

'Could you ask him where he left the remote?'

Volkswagen Scandal

'If you want to hear the ocean, press one.'

"Don't you ever run off again to get your oil changed without telling me."

No Double Parking

Crashed Aliens - "Miss Fortnum, come in here immediately..and bring the first aid kit."

'It's a British car. Needs braces.'

Executioner forgetting his glasses.

"I'm afraid the only thing we have in your line of work at the moment is a bingo caller in Milton Keynes."

'We try to only make bad loans to good people.'

"If you are a Pulitzer-prize winner, press 1. All others, please press 2."

"I can't wait to post this."

"I'm so glad you suggested we insert his heart on Valentine's Day!"

All you'd expect in a British car!

G.K. Chesterton.

Paul Verlaine

"GPS wants me to stay put."

'This is the biggest belly button in the world.'

"It's good luck."

The very rare and elusive Eskimo turtle.

"It's a hybrid if you think it is. Runs on gas and the power of positive thinking."

Driving a Lemon.

"I'm waiting for a bed."

"I got a 'millennial anti-theft device' in my car." "Steering wheel lock?" "Stick shift."

Josh tests his theory that by driving backward through a quick-pass toll lane, he can get money ADDED to his credit card account.

God has an attack of vertigo

"Clean your wallet, sir?"

"..and I've recently had it converted to LGP"

"So tell me about your early years on the road..."

Road rage in the car-to-car technology era.