Automation Specialist Gifts

"I'm looking for something really dull and repetitive."

"I'm not particular, I'll take any job that will replace a human."

Tortilla factory.

'Hello-goodbye.'

"With so much automation we're going to need a director of robot resources."

'Welcome to the automated booking line. Please state your location.' 'Oxford' 'I'm sorry. I didn't hear that. Please try again.' 'Oxford, you dumb robot!' 'I think you said 'Dumbarton'. Please press '9' to confirm.'

Factory foreman says: 'Sometimes the machines here do try to take over the world. Last week the coffee maker even had a go.'

Human Resources: Due to Drones, Driverless cars, and Apps, we are not now hiring human beings...

"I knew this was coming when they introduced computer-generated ticket sales."

Almost fully automated airlines.

"You can't transfer me to the night shift - I'm solar powered."

Doors labelled 'Mechanical Resources', and 'Human Resources

"It's hard to stay motivated knowing that in 100 years they'll replace me with a robot."

'You're having an affair with a coworker? Didn't you tell me they automated all of the jobs there?'

"Jimmy, I want you to meet our new safety officer."

'It says it works so fast, it's accumulated seven thousand years of vacation with pay.'

I wouldn't get too friendly with him - I know for a fact he's going to be replaced by a robot next week.

'You say your mind works like a computer and you work like a robot? Thanks for helping us decide to go completely Hi-Tech!'

A series of wind-up tin cups walk past a man on the sidewalk.

Automation

Claus 2.0

Milkshake Shortage

"In the future everyone will have a job for 15 minutes."

"I wonder if A.I. will inevitably become as tired and depressed as we are."

"Actually, she's just a figurehead boss. Our real CEO is an algorithm floating around somewhere in the cloud!"

"You created a robot to do your homework for you? Apparently, laziness is the mother of invention."

'Our parents were replaced by machines - We'll be replaced with new software.'

ACME INDUSTRIES NEW PRODUCTS DIVISION, 'The best part is, it can repossess itself!'

"He's taught himself work-life balance."

'...and in 1/100000 of a second, it can compound the programmer's error 87,500 times.'

"Uh-oh...it's starting to delegate work to me."

Robots In The Boardroom

"No, our home wasn't stolen. Since it's a 'smart home', it keeps having itself moved to a nice neighborhood."

'A computer is only as good as the people who are employed to replace the people who were made redundant by the computer.'

"That recruitment algorithm we’ve been using, I think we need to revisit it!"