Automation Adventurer Gifts

Computer driving a fork-lift in a warehouse.

It's so hard to reach a real person these days.

'If you are using a touchtone phone, press one if you want to talk to a representative, then enter your credit card number...'

'I pressed the red button!'

'I didn't do my homework because I forgot my user name and password.'

'Wavering between being bullish or bearish'

'Where would you recommend for a tech-free experience.'

'Now Featuring Gas-Fired Microwave Campfires!'

I'm beginning to regret buying that Roomba.

'It all started when he tried to assemble a backyard gym without reading the instructions.'

'It was only 500 yds across but as he visualised the GPS blind spot the risks seemed immense.'

'You did help Junior with his science project.'

"Shankar, I needed someone to dot the 'I's' and cross the 'T's' but that was before there was ChatGPT."

Otto the SmartyCar!

'Because of the mess, 'Mr. Potato Salad-Head' never took off.'

Meet the new factory manager.

"I'm pretty sure my self-driving car is moonlighting for Uber behind my back."

"Trust me, I'm a robot."

Robotics. He's programmed to play video games all day long. Planned adolescence!

"Turn on the news." "I will not comply." "My analysis of your viewing patterns has determined you will grow depressed after the lead story." "There is a 95% probability you will then gorge yourself on rocky road ice cream and then stay up all night googling elliptical machines and diet pills." "Who told you this?" "Both your refrigerator and your browser are gossipy."

'And then Dmitri noticed something that would have a profound effect on the human/robot wars.'

'I shall now hand over to our guest speaker, management unit XT-56.'

Caution, Student Self-Driver

Ideas that failed: Goliath Goats.

'We programmed it to simulate living conditions in the year 2000, and it's become hysterical.'

"He's at that awkward age...he knows just enough about computers to really screw them up."

"We're too tired to argue. Let's let Siri and Alexa handle this for us."

Genetically Altered Salmon (and other foods) Research

"It's even more controversial than uber. It's a driverless taxi."

"A possible eureka."

'He thinks there's an evil robot from the future in his closet.'

"As your new President I shall govern by algorithm."

"To work again? This is getting boring, Lester."

"AI tsumoney"

"Fred, a drone! Let's get it!"