Autobiography Writing Gifts

'Now that he's turned 90 and wants to tell the world his story of the wine industry, he can't remember it.'

Mike (The Situation) is rumored to have written the original manuscript for his best-selling memoir entirely out of bronzer.

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

"I think the ants are mooning me again."

"Day 4,261... I don’t know how much longer I can survive. Still no signs of civilization. Food is scarce and I fear the wound on my ankle is infected. Still, all this pales in comparison to the horror of having to be anywhere at any particular time."

"What your memoir really needs is an addiction."

Meet the author - celebrity autobiographies,

"Tracey, this is Gene. He also read the Nancy Reagan book in unbound galleys."

Display of political memoirs books categorized as: 'Non-fiction,' 'Fiction,' and 'Pure Fantasy'.

It's an autobiography of a guy who spent his whole life trying to get his first @#^& book published. Editor.

I'm currently working on my autobiography. Would you care to help make page 327 interesting?

Toys were me: lessons learned never growing up

'It's Dick Cheney's biography.'

"Its my letter of resignation. I also turned it into a memoir."

Hitchcock's The Birds

'Man, I'm age 21 now and so far, I haven't done anything important. Things can't go on like this or I will have to forget my plan to become rich and famous by writing my autobiography at age 35!'

"I called for you creative people because I feel it's time to begin my autobiography."

"It's my autobiography. I call it, 'I Married Her For Her Money, And Other Gross Miscalculations'."

"It was only when I started to write the story of my life that I realised I'd forgotten to have one."

'Oh no! Political memoirs!'

Ilyasah Shabazz

Woman at bookshop counter says: 'The Political Memoirs Wing is through there.'

Rudy, I loved your memoir. It was fascinating. The way you overcame huge odds to invent the computer. How you went on to protect us from government surveillance. You know none of it's true. The way you swore yourself to humility. People so want to believe a good story.

Clinton's book promotion: "Even if just his old girlfriends buy it, we'll make millions."

"I can't help thinking there's a book in this."

'We won't publish your book 'The Life of a mayfly: An Autobiography' because it's only a page long!'

"Walter Thruggins, My Life as a Pensions Adviser."

I have a date tonight. She's coming over. I need to get home and clean it all up. Not so fast, little buddy. Cleaning is a delicate art. Clean too little, and she thinks you're a slob. Clean too much, and she thinks you're hiding something. It's almost as if you haven't read chapter 7 of the manual. What manual? "Mancleaning: By Randy 'The Rock' Taylor." You wrote a whole book about cleaning? It's the follow-up to "How to Reach the Tenth Level of Passion by Feng Shui-ing Your Dust Bunnies." It's

"If you're going to write I think you have to draw upon your own experience."

"It's about keeping the bunny alive within each of us."

"Good autobiography, but I preferred your memoirs."

Misery lit...

Tony Blair and Blairwash.

"That's not a Tracey Emin - that is Tracey Emin."

When I was in jail, I passed the time by writing my autobiography. I took certain liberties with some of the characters. For instance, you appear in the later chapters