Autobiography Jammer Gifts

'I read your new story earlier.'

"Well, that's the only song we know, so we can play it another two or three times, or we can cut our losses. Waddya say, Cleveland?"

Guitar Man.

Toothless Rocker, "Oi, play the guitar with your own teeth !"

Guitarist: 'We can freely improvise some other time ... now let's practise.' (With Derek it was always jam tomorrow)

"People, the facts are inescapable. Any ideas on how we can ignore them?"

Bonita shows up late for the girls' Thursday night 'Jam Session'.

"I called for you creative people because I feel it's time to begin my autobiography."

"It was only when I started to write the story of my life that I realised I'd forgotten to have one."

Around the piano

"Dude, I figured out why your solos sound so bad - that thing's actually a bass."

Air Sitar.

Two people play the guitar and harmonica.

"Good autobiography, but I preferred your memoirs."

'Without management consultants how is the NHS meant to instigate forward facing paradigm shifts in it's client nourishment product and policy integration strategisation?

'He uses rim shots instead of banging on his gavel.'

Cottage Industry

'Not all my kids went to the dogs...some of them went to the cats.'

Guitarist

Two boys rehearsing,

"With proper editing, I've had a good life."

'Nice! And what other interests do you have besides jamming?'

"I'm in the Bbm7 of my discontent."

"It's great that you both enjoy live music, but who are you and how did you get in our garage?"

"The trouble with teaching music is everyone is dancing to a different tune."

Things that bands can do

And Eddy knew, this meant overtime work. A LOT of overtime work.

"Is this book a true story or is it true it's a story?"

'It took me a while to find this gem, but the acoustics in this cave are amazing: let's jam!'

"A court appointed attorney is nice, but how about a book ghost writer, so I can cash in on my life story?"

'You mean we've all been playing different songs? I wonder how long that's been going on...'

'You'll never win that contest -- you've never said anything in fifty words or less.'