Auto Psychoanalyst Gifts

"So tell me about your early years on the road. . ."

'If you were disturbed by any issues raised, please call your mum.'

"Don't you think it's time we talked about Operation Doug?"

'My understanding of psychiatry is that women fantasiss and men internalise - in fact I'd like to internalise right now.'

Sigmund Freud.

* For latent content, see your psychiatrist.

"I'm the bad guy..."

Psychobabbling brook.

Agricultural Psychology

A Freudian slip...

'I'm sorry, but I don't know anything about external combustion engines.'

Psychiatrist with bust of Freud

'Care to join in some of my avoidance behaviour?'

"Doc, you'll be glad to know I'm comfortable in my own skin today. I shed my old in the reception room."

'Carl Jung loses it...' 'don't tell me I made a Freudian slip - it's a Jungian slip!'

"Now then Mr Parker - are you relaxed?"

'What the … ? How did those thugs get into my car?'

'I hate to say this but no amount of analysis is going to help; you need a better cartoonist.'

"...but this is the stuff of dreams Mr Whitley! Dreams."

"You have to remember you're not responsible for other people's happiness."

"Don't worry they're all part of my team."

'Sheisse ... What ein dream!' - Freud

'Shh, wait! -- I'm getting an astral message from Sigmund Freud!'

"You're born, you deconstruct your childhood, and then you die."

'...And how long have you been having these hallucinations that you're seeing a psychiatrist?'

Super-ego Surveillance

"Crosby, Stills, Nash & Jung"

Motorway of the Self

'I'm going to refer you to Dr. Keinsorge -- he actually enjoys this sort of thing.'

"Doctor, your client with the multiple personality disorder, is on lines one, two, three and four."

'An alternative to having me psychoanalyze you is to write a book and have the critics do it.'

'Okay, whatever you do, don't follow THOSE dreams.'