Autism Diagnosis Gifts

'Mable, the doctor said that Timmy is 'autistic', not artistic.'

"If he tries to dip, Mrs. Callister, you mustn't hesitate to use the choke chain."

"He has a terrible peanut elegy."

"I'd like to see you do this online."

Man reads note, which reads: Have been diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease, I don't know where your dinner is.

Giant to librarian: 'Excuse me, do you have a large print version?'

Parkinson Ave - Alzheimer Drive

"AI designed my statue."

'Good news and bad... Medical science can't cure you, but we have some marvelous support groups.'

Dog fetches dice

"Well I think the Real question is..."

Surprise Party

"With this new diagnosis of diabetes you're going to have to make some lifestyle changes."

'Luckily you caught it in time while you're still alive to sue.'

Mr Kettleband's humour was described as unique.

"I'm sorry I ever questioned the value of Tetris."

'There's no cure, but the good news is we have some great support groups!'

'Your sugar level is off the chart. Don't worry. We'll whip you back into shape in no time.'

"Cancer patients are on the third floor. This is the psych ward. She wouldn't be here unless she was faking it."

"I've been using the latest home tech and apps to monitor my health....And after feeding the results into some online medical sites I discovered I was dead!"

'Lenny NEVER had any problems with cramped seats at football games - like most people do.'

"I thought that I knew everybody in town."

Your hands are cold...

Asparagus Syndrome.

"Forget railway season tickets. Stick to day returns from now on."

"He's in a comma."

Doctor's Office. I don't know which I hate more to hear him say --- "Learn to live with it" or "Learn to live without it."

Fred found it was easier to blow torch leaves than rake them.

Before I Knew My Mom Had Alzheimer's, Her Weirdness Drove Me Crazy

"Angry humans!"

'I'm feeling GREAT but I'm worried that might just be a SYMPTOM!'

"I've conducted a meta analysis of the myriad of tests we've run and I think I can say with a certain level of certainty that you are probably screwed..."

"I'm skipping straight to a second opinion, in the first one, I thought you were OK."

Kevin began to suspect that his Mother was colourblind.

'Thanks for kissing me so that I turned from a frog into a prince! May I have French flies with that?'