Autism Diagnosis Gifts

'Mable, the doctor said that Timmy is 'autistic', not artistic.'

"If he tries to dip, Mrs. Callister, you mustn't hesitate to use the choke chain."

"He has a terrible peanut elegy."

"I'd like to see you do this online."

Man reads note, which reads: Have been diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease, I don't know where your dinner is.

Giant to librarian: 'Excuse me, do you have a large print version?'

Parkinson Ave - Alzheimer Drive

'Good news and bad... Medical science can't cure you, but we have some marvelous support groups.'

"Well I think the Real question is..."

"AI designed my statue."

Dog fetches dice

Surprise Party

"I'm sorry I ever questioned the value of Tetris."

"With this new diagnosis of diabetes you're going to have to make some lifestyle changes."

'Luckily you caught it in time while you're still alive to sue.'

Mr Kettleband's humour was described as unique.

'There's no cure, but the good news is we have some great support groups!'

"Cancer patients are on the third floor. This is the psych ward. She wouldn't be here unless she was faking it."

"I've been using the latest home tech and apps to monitor my health....And after feeding the results into some online medical sites I discovered I was dead!"

'Lenny NEVER had any problems with cramped seats at football games - like most people do.'

"I thought that I knew everybody in town."

Your hands are cold...

"He's in a comma."

"Forget railway season tickets. Stick to day returns from now on."

Asparagus Syndrome.

"Angry humans!"

'I'm feeling GREAT but I'm worried that might just be a SYMPTOM!'

Fred found it was easier to blow torch leaves than rake them.

Kevin began to suspect that his Mother was colourblind.

"I've conducted a meta analysis of the myriad of tests we've run and I think I can say with a certain level of certainty that you are probably screwed..."

"I'm skipping straight to a second opinion, in the first one, I thought you were OK."

Gavin had felt a caling since he was a puppy. His time spent at the Royal Ballet had paid off and now nothing could stop him...

"You're dying, why are you smiling?"