Aunts Gifts

Baby in womb chooses from multiple choice pregnancy symptoms...

"OMG! I just got born!"

Inside One's Memory Bank

"Why can't you be more like little Hester Prynne? She's getting straight A's."

'We've created a teenager!'

Baby sees bottle with math formula marked, 'Baby Formula'.

'There's a renewable source the government should use.'

Family Home.

A tube of toothpaste doesn't reach its full potential until in the hands of a baby.

'I'm about to have a tantrum. What are you doing?'

"Too much sugar."

"I realise that it shows a lack of maturity .. But I like baby talk."

'They sent me home from school because my lunch was out of compliance.'

I like the Jets...I guess

"He's a bright little spark, isn't he?"

'I feel much safer living in a gated community.'

'Just think of it as graphic design, Mom.'

'Look darling, her first word.'

"I won't have anything to worry about when I grow up."

The School Nativity.

Need a Qualified Adult for Pooh Sticks

"Where there's a will...there are relatives!"

"Uh, I'm not ready to have a family"

'OK! I'll talk!'

'If he grabs the broccoli, we turn on the Raffi tunes. If he heads towards the Playstation, he hit him with the air horn at 100db.'

'Timmy, stop being naughty: Don't sit up straight!'

I sue negligent children!

Bouncing baby

'I had more last year!'

'Don't track mud in the house! 'IT'S NOT MUD! IT'S DOG POO!'

'I'm bored with looking at people's feet all day!'

"He doesn't really talk yet, but he does some sound bites."

"Are we there yet?"

'Yes, bedwetting can be an issue, but there's no need to make a big deal of it...'

'He took his first step!'