Aunt Gifts

"Son, your mother and I, Grandpa Jack, Grandma Kate, Uncle Danny, Aunt Sue, Grandpa Sy, Grandma Jenny, Cousin Rhonda, Tugger, and Sprinkles are gay."

7 Dwarves of Menopause.

"I always spend New Year's surrounded by loved ones."

"I never thought turning eighty would be so much fun!"

Mother's day

Middle Age - The Magazine For You - Yeah, You!

"Let's play hide-and-I-read-my-book."

Born to rock.

A woman standing beside a stove full of steaming pots and pans.

"Honey, your head's through the armhole again."

"I can quit whenever I want to."

Pets.

Old ladies stack their walkers to rescue cat in tree.

"Depressed? No doubt. Overwhelmed? Obviously. Crazy? I don't think so."

"Oh, there's Iza---I know her from my matriarch's group."

'I don't think of my skin as saggy...I think of it as relaxed-fit!'

'Heck, this is nothing, why when I was a kid, we'd have snow clear up to here.'

'It's simple, really - unless and until all our demands are met, we keep crying.'

"First they make you button your own shirt, then they make you tie your own shoes...you gotta ask yourself ? where's this all heading?"

'To err is human. To really mess up, we've got to do some planning.'

"With a good education you can grow up to be anything I want you to be."

'of course I know the value of a dollar...That's why I asked for ten of them.'

'It's either a boo-boo or an owwie, but the doctors need to run some more tests before they decide.'

'How did he make the world in six days?'

"Let me put on my 'working' head."

'Your house is spotless, your children are well behaved and dinner was delicious. How do you do it?'

Made all my investment decisions with a coin flip.

'Dude, don't do it. Somewhere down the road it will lead to chores.'

Baby talk 101 - Whaaaaa! 'This is a good one. It means, 'Until my every need is met, your life will be hell'.'

"Ladies, you know the rule about joyriding."

'Thank God we're cute. You only get one chance to make a good first impression.'

'I'm NOT being a tattle-tale! -- I'm being a reliable source!'

Sorry Mable, you know the rules, no mobile devices allowed on quiz nights.

After the last child moved out, the old woman sold the shoe and moved into a flat.

"Any side effects from the HRT?" "WHAT?"