Great Aunt Gifts

"I do wish they'd hurry up with that vaccine, so I can get back to worrying about dying of something else."

'My grandma sent her first text to me. She used only vowels.'

"I found my great aunt Irma's delicioso roast turkey recipe!"

"My novel is about a romance between an octogenarian and a septuagenarian, but I can't remember which is which."

"Tia Carmen could never live without her 'que.'"

"Well, you know what I always say!"

"It's about the world's smartest girl, her caring father, her fun-loving great aunt and her annoying, car-obsessed big brother."

"All your dichos sound a little crazy to me."

"This is awful! It tastes like pellets of paste! Here...with these spices, I think I can save it!"

"Tia Carmen, why do we get old?"

"Baldo, I'm walking to the church...it's bingo night!"

"It's good spending time together."

"This is your great aunt Adriana. She sent 'thank you' notes to people for no reason."

"Are you going out, Tia Carmen? You look beautiful!"

"Have you found my history book, Tia Carmen?"

Eightysomething

"A kiss will make your boo-boo feel better...but my remedio of cayenne pepper and sugar will cure it!"

"She attended the Tia Carmen medical school."

'Aww. . . it's a belated Christmas card from my great Aunt Sally. . . she must be feeling better, Burl.'

Going to his great Aunt's funeral, Clive accidentally put on a happy face.

'He's a conspiracy theorist - he refuses to believe that Great Aunt Mildred is really dead.'

'Well, yes, a little lonely, dear. But I have Mog. And my Grand Theft Auto...'

"Tia Carmen, I need some advice."

'Whose turn to talk to Auntie Gertie?'

"What did you get in your big history test?"

"Tia Carmen, have I said recently how glad I am you live with us?"

"And so she roams the land crying out for her babies. This is why she's known 'La Llorona' - the crying lady of the lake!"

"It's amazing, Darlin', just how fast the kids grow up!"

"Bark or stare? Always a tough decision. Bark? Maybe stare? Whimper? Maybe? Meanwhile, stare."

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

"Being raised in the city, Fred didn’t quite grasp the true purpose of a game camera."

"And the last little piggy cried, 'Oui, oui, oui' all the way home."

"Bond James, Bond."

"Can I borrow the car keys?"

"Tell me about this fear of couches."