Aunts Pillows

Baby in womb chooses from multiple choice pregnancy symptoms...

"OMG! I just got born!"

Inside One's Memory Bank

"Why can't you be more like little Hester Prynne? She's getting straight A's."

'We've created a teenager!'

Baby sees bottle with math formula marked, 'Baby Formula'.

'There's a renewable source the government should use.'

Family Home.

A tube of toothpaste doesn't reach its full potential until in the hands of a baby.

'I'm about to have a tantrum. What are you doing?'

I like the Jets...I guess

"He's a bright little spark, isn't he?"

'I feel much safer living in a gated community.'

'They sent me home from school because my lunch was out of compliance.'

"Too much sugar."

"I won't have anything to worry about when I grow up."

'Look darling, her first word.'

"Uh, I'm not ready to have a family"

The School Nativity.

'Just think of it as graphic design, Mom.'

"Where there's a will...there are relatives!"

Need a Qualified Adult for Pooh Sticks

'Any chance of getting a financial advance on my loose tooth?'

"Are we there yet?"

Graph Your Relatives!

'I had more last year!'

I sue negligent children!

"All I did this summer was go fishing, camping, bike riding, swimming, boating, and go the movies, carnivals, fairs, concerts and games. I'm bored."

"I checked out how much it would be for hockey, and guess what? The kids are playing pickleball this year!"

'Don't track mud in the house! 'IT'S NOT MUD! IT'S DOG POO!'

'Yes, bedwetting can be an issue, but there's no need to make a big deal of it...'

'Congratulations! You've just downloaded a baby boy.'

Bouncing baby

"I made the mistake of telling him that the world is his canvas."

'I'm not happy with his latest school photo.'