Aunts And Uncles Pillows

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"According to his will, he wants his outstanding debts to be shared equally between the three of you."

'...And there's the hands - it looks like - well, it looks like he's texting.'

"Maybe we should send her to finishing school!"

"Here's our little bundle of joy."

"How is it you only remember the good times?"

"It's amazing, Darlin', just how fast the kids grow up!"

"What did you say about the health of my gut biome?"

The Games Man: Fishing is his sole form of exercise - but he considers it bad form to move more than his wrist when casting.

"Being raised in the city, Fred didn’t quite grasp the true purpose of a game camera."

"Bark or stare? Always a tough decision. Bark? Maybe stare? Whimper? Maybe? Meanwhile, stare."

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

"And the last little piggy cried, 'Oui, oui, oui' all the way home."

"Can I borrow the car keys?"

"Tell me about this fear of couches."

"Bond James, Bond."

'I'm reading aloud, Jeremy - My lips are SUPPOSED to be moving!'

"In high school, I was quite the star in metal shop."

"Her first word was 'paparazzi'. "

"That's the guy I hired to read Proust for me."

'What do you want first - The bad news or the even badder news?'

Prize vegetables.

'Couldn't Peter claim Mr. McGregor's garden was an 'attractive nuisance?'

Blue Stockings - Woman revealing herself as author

"I built this tree house for my kids. But it's so private, I've decided to use it as my home office."

Scottish Football Fan - "...and please Lord, let the result be against the run of play."

"Did I hear the dog in here?"

'Boy, the fish are really biting today, aren't they, Fred?'

"No, it wasn't a sinkhole. Your old TV was so heavy the ground could no longer take the weight."

'If you give up alcohol, cigarettes, sex, red meat, cakes and chocolate, and don't get too excited, you can enjoy life for a few more years yet.'

"I don't think you're getting enough stress."

I like the Jets...I guess

"A wet winter, but we're making the best of it."

'Please tell me you're baby sitting?'