Auditions Gifts

Casting Director

Ventriloquist Audition

Swan Lake Auditions

"This is a blind audition, right?"

"Sorry, dude. . . but you just don't fit into our group!"

Cello Auditions

"Can you do any other impressions, apart from; John, your milkman?"

Casting for Heroes series II.

'They're only interested in computer generated mammoths.' (Theatrical Agent).

'To be honest Mr Gregson, I've seen better escapologists, goodnight.'

She's a natural.

'Now here's an Actor with real gravitas!'

"Well, you're certainly on our short list."

"This isn't his audition...he's telling us about being an actor."

'How does 'Oh Brother Get You Out Of Here' grab you?'

He's got a lousy voice!

Bonita gets a Cattle Call

"I got another callback. My agent says it's between me and the guy who's going to get it."

"Don't we thing Arlene would make a perfect Medea?"

'Believing any filming experience may help launch acting careers, some even stage their appearances before closed circuit cameras.'

'They all want to play the star.'

"An actor, you say? Guess you caught the acting-like-a-waiter bug."

"I'm sorry, we're looking for the voice of a spunky animated turnip and your reading is more fruit than vegetable if you understand what I mean."

Tuning Up for the Air Guitar Competition

'I was up for a part in the Producers...'

"Which part are you reading for?"

"Sorry, I meant to say "good luck", not "break a leg"..."

"Thank you, Mr. Mulvaney, but what we're really looking for is someone with talent."

"If you want to sing in our band, you'll have to overcome your fear of using double negatives."

I can't wait 'til her tryouts for "Cats" are over.

Presenter Auditions.

"Bob, you're just not selling me on you essential hamburgerness."

X Factor contestant dressed as a 'Y'.

THEATRICAL AGENCY, 'We have an opening to do some commercials - How'd you like to be the LEAST interesting man in the world?'

"You've been offered a role as a husband who's been married for thirty years."