Audition Adventures Gifts

"Bob, you're just not selling me on you essential hamburgerness."

"That's not the sort of Elvis impersonator I had in mind. . .!"

'Believing any filming experience may help launch acting careers, some even stage their appearances before closed circuit cameras.'

'They all want to play the star.'

"An actor, you say? Guess you caught the acting-like-a-waiter bug."

"I'm sorry, we're looking for the voice of a spunky animated turnip and your reading is more fruit than vegetable if you understand what I mean."

"I scream! You scream! I can't stop the screaming!"

'I was up for a part in the Producers...'

"Which part are you reading for?"

"Sorry, I meant to say "good luck", not "break a leg"..."

'They're only interested in computer generated mammoths.' (Theatrical Agent).

I can't wait 'til her tryouts for "Cats" are over.

"Thank you, Mr. Mulvaney, but what we're really looking for is someone with talent."

Presenter Auditions.

X Factor contestant dressed as a 'Y'.

'And I say he makes us look bad when he rides around listening to those books.'

THEATRICAL AGENCY, 'We have an opening to do some commercials - How'd you like to be the LEAST interesting man in the world?'

"Well, you're certainly on our short list."

"Sorry, dude. . . but you just don't fit into our group!"

'It's an audio book: I'm too busy to read books...'

"You've been offered a role as a husband who's been married for thirty years."

Casting Director

Ventriloquist Audition

"I got another callback. My agent says it's between me and the guy who's going to get it."

Ballet Audition. I think I've just witnessed the pollution of Swan Lake.

"A P.R. Intern Named Salome with the Head Shot of John the Client."

"Sorry Mr. Gross, Mr. DeVries, but the firm has decided to go with the earthy, down-home fingerpicking of Ms. Aimee Parker-Grossman."

"Quiet? I'd even read for the understudy part for someone who is between engagements."

'So, did I get the job?'

"This isn't his audition...he's telling us about being an actor."

"Remember, you're a 17-year old fashion model. Now go out and act like you've never acted before."

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I've seen that move - Show me something new! Inflatable air dancer tryouts.

'Congratulations. All but one of you has been short listed.'

She's a natural.

'To be honest Mr Gregson, I've seen better escapologists, goodnight.'