Auditioning For A Talent Show Pillows

X Factor contestant dressed as a 'Y'.

'They all want to play the star.'

'He went in for the Worst Singer and won first prize in the Gurning competition at the same time!'

"I'm sorry, we're looking for the voice of a spunky animated turnip and your reading is more fruit than vegetable if you understand what I mean."

Tuning Up for the Air Guitar Competition

"Which part are you reading for?"

Presenter Auditions.

"Sorry, I meant to say "good luck", not "break a leg"..."

'They're only interested in computer generated mammoths.' (Theatrical Agent).

"Thank you, Mr. Mulvaney, but what we're really looking for is someone with talent."

"If you want to sing in our band, you'll have to overcome your fear of using double negatives."

Stan Mack's Real Life Funnies: The David Letterman Show Goes to the Dogs, Cats, Birds, Guinea Pigs...

The Drummer

THEATRICAL AGENCY, 'We have an opening to do some commercials - How'd you like to be the LEAST interesting man in the world?'

"Well, you're certainly on our short list."

"Sorry, dude. . . but you just don't fit into our group!"

Casting Director

Ventriloquist Audition

Trump commissions song

"I got another callback. My agent says it's between me and the guy who's going to get it."

"This could be fun! Don't you do magic tricks, Cruz?"

"This isn't his audition...he's telling us about being an actor."

"This is a blind audition, right?"

"I'm a TV producer. I can get you on one of those fake judge programs, and you'll both become famous."

"Remember, you're a 17-year old fashion model. Now go out and act like you've never acted before."

'What have I told you about laughing on purpose, Mother?'

'Congratulations. All but one of you has been short listed.'

'To be honest Mr Gregson, I've seen better escapologists, goodnight.'

She's a natural.

Graham really wanted to play Joseph, but deep down he knew what part he'd get again.