Audition Ace Gifts

Stop looking at me! Whatcha doing? Practicing my part in the spring play. But it's just a walk-on. Exactly! Some actors just talk the talk. I get to walk the walk.

X Factor contestant dressed as a 'Y'.

'They all want to play the star.'

THEATRICAL AGENCY, 'We have an opening to do some commercials - How'd you like to be the LEAST interesting man in the world?'

"Can you do any other impressions, apart from; John, your milkman?"

"This is a blind audition, right?"

'Believing any filming experience may help launch acting careers, some even stage their appearances before closed circuit cameras.'

"An actor, you say? Guess you caught the acting-like-a-waiter bug."

'What a CV - if you can write memos like this you'll go far in our organisation.'

'You know what they say - 'Those who don't learn the lessons of history are doomed to go to summer school.''

'I made a hundred on the Spanish test. Gracias.'

"Your CV will be sufficient, Mr. Cooper."

"Which part are you reading for?"

"You inhabit the body of someone who has an impressive résumé."

STRIP Hambone: Computer company job interview

"I'm being heavily recruited by several other companies."

"Are all these letters of recommendation from your mother?"

'You've spelt 'C.V.' wrongly.'

'I think and work spectacularly well either inside or outside the box.'

"Sorry, I meant to say "good luck", not "break a leg"..."

Your resume says you were a waiter...

"This is a fast-paced job you're applying for...what are your goals...where do you see yourself in the next 10 minutes?"

"I'm a great ... umm... like ... umm... like... umm ... communicator."

"Thank you, Mr. Mulvaney, but what we're really looking for is someone with talent."

'They're only interested in computer generated mammoths.' (Theatrical Agent).

Presenter Auditions.

"Well, your CV certainly contains some very impressive name dropping."

"After reviewing your resume, I don't think you should be teaching English - I think you should be study English."

I can't wait 'til her tryouts for "Cats" are over.

"Bob, you're just not selling me on you essential hamburgerness."

'This resume is incredible. Would you be able to lie this well under pressure?'

"Sorry, dude. . . but you just don't fit into our group!"

"Well, you're certainly on our short list."

"My word, this really is impressive! Lots of people have a personal trainer but a personal wine advisor, wow!"

'Watch what you admit to. He once tried to fine one of my clients for looking a gift horse in the mouth.'