Audio Humorist Gifts

No, Ernie, I said to get Mister "Spock."

"He could have been the national bird, but that was a long, long time ago."

"Canadian Mt. ‘Rush’more"

"Hey, pal, let's hear 'Doggie in the Window' again, and this time play it like you mean it!"

'I met my wife in unfortunate circumstances. I was single.'

"This next one is my own quirky rendition of Berlioz's 'Symphonie Fantastique,' Movement 5, 'Dream of a Witches' Sabbath.'"

"I was going to play the Moonlight Sonata, but I forgot the key."

Radiator jazz player

"Not now, my love. I'm feeling preminstrel."

"What other tricks does he need?"

Elevator Music

F&E Stables. Horses Boarded. The owner of this horse is a huge fan of the late musician, "Prince." That explains the purple reins.

"I thought it would be appropriate to have a band playing as we went down."

The Phantom Of The Garden

"They'll be expecting adagio. Go with the allegro."

Opera singer singing to her partner who is wearing a gas mask on due to her bad breath.

Guitar pickin'

Press Any Key. No, Not That One.

Pay me not to pay 'Wonderwall'

Waiter in resturant sawing violin.

'PHWOAR! You should have seen her rear end when she sat on the piano. . . played 'TINK' and 'BOOM' at the same time!'

Rap-scallions

"Who is 'coming around the mountain,' John? Could it be your mother?"

Double Saxophone

"Beans, Them Beans, Them Beans, Beans, Beans..."

Edward Elgar.

'Never mind singing it in rap...a simple 'I do' will suffice.''

No Instruments Please

Dr. Phil takes it home.

All Les's dreams of stardom were coming true, and he'd only played one note.

"Drinking improves my vodkabulary."

"Ding" "Dong"

"Y'know, sooner or later we're going to have to let her go out unaccompanied."

'We seem to have more luck getting people to accept cookies rather than broccoli when they visit websites.'

Now, Bach's Brandenburg Concerto.