Audiences Gifts

"I now what you've come to expect from me is physical comedy, but tonight I thought we'd try something a little different."

Little guy using telescope to see past a big guy blocking his view in the crowd,

Invasion Of The Summer Aliens

Taking a peek at the audience

'Yes! The momentum's going to shift now. Our home fan is starting to make some noise!'

"I think I'm having pre-traumatic stress disorder."

Old sea captains queue to see Monster Whale Revenge.

'As I walk through the halls, I see teachers teaching and students learning and I say to myself, 'what wonderful school, what a wonderful world.''

'Unaccustomed as I am to public speaking...'

"For my next trick, I'll need a volunteer, a fake knife, and a mirrored box with a secret compartment."

"And lastly, for my infinite perseverance, self-control and fortitude, I'd like to thank the Internet trolls."

Occupational Hazards.

Giant screen displays conference delegates and not the speaker.

"This next song is about a trip to Vermont. It's called 'This is the whitest state I've ever seen—wow!'"

"This poem was written at a time in my life when I wrote a poem."

'The ‘class clown' thing is my fault. I totally misjudged the crowd.'

Armless chainsaw juggler.

"This next song exposes the hypocrisy of everyone here."

"That concludes my presentation. I'll now open this up for some answers."

'Lenny NEVER had any problems with cramped seats at football games - like most people do.'

Antiques for Oldies: Squeal Now.

'I hope he doesn't pick on ME!'

"Give me insights on marketing to your age demographic...and I'll give you a bright shiny penny."

'Wow, excellent turnout.'

The Epsom Derby - Jockey Rides Out through the Crowd

"Some are born old."

Public speaking

Manager: 'EXCELLENT promoting Jan! It's another RECORD crowd!'

A human cannon with an extended clip

"Why anyone should look forward to a subway series is beyond me."

"Next time, don't start the presentation by asking, 'Can you tolerate ambiguity?'!"

This town ain't big enough for the one million, five hundred and thirty two thousand of us.

A Concert Audience - A Typical Layout.

'Ever thought of applying for a place in a studio audience?'