
"I now what you've come to expect from me is physical comedy, but tonight I thought we'd try something a little different."
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"I now what you've come to expect from me is physical comedy, but tonight I thought we'd try something a little different."
Little guy using telescope to see past a big guy blocking his view in the crowd,
Invasion Of The Summer Aliens
Taking a peek at the audience
'Yes! The momentum's going to shift now. Our home fan is starting to make some noise!'
"I think I'm having pre-traumatic stress disorder."
Old sea captains queue to see Monster Whale Revenge.
'As I walk through the halls, I see teachers teaching and students learning and I say to myself, 'what wonderful school, what a wonderful world.''
'Unaccustomed as I am to public speaking...'
"For my next trick, I'll need a volunteer, a fake knife, and a mirrored box with a secret compartment."
"And lastly, for my infinite perseverance, self-control and fortitude, I'd like to thank the Internet trolls."
Occupational Hazards.
"This next song is about a trip to Vermont. It's called 'This is the whitest state I've ever seen—wow!'"
Giant screen displays conference delegates and not the speaker.
'The ‘class clown' thing is my fault. I totally misjudged the crowd.'
"This poem was written at a time in my life when I wrote a poem."
"This next song exposes the hypocrisy of everyone here."
Armless chainsaw juggler.
Open Mike Night Presents the Comedy Stylings of Rudy Park. Did you hear about the iPhone that hired the best wedding planner in the country because it wanted a great reception? Clap. And then there was the autocorrect programmer who got rejected when he asked a lady out on a debate. The romance didn't last long when the cable tv box found out how spacey the satellite tv box was. Get off the stage! The one who invented binary code was a real zero. Boo. Hiss. I don't even get that one, and I'm gla
"That concludes my presentation. I'll now open this up for some answers."
David Letterman
Intramission
Antiques for Oldies: Squeal Now.
"Give me insights on marketing to your age demographic...and I'll give you a bright shiny penny."
'Lenny NEVER had any problems with cramped seats at football games - like most people do.'
'I hope he doesn't pick on ME!'
'Wow, excellent turnout.'
"Some are born old."
The Epsom Derby - Jockey Rides Out through the Crowd
Public speaking
Manager: 'EXCELLENT promoting Jan! It's another RECORD crowd!'
A human cannon with an extended clip
"Why anyone should look forward to a subway series is beyond me."
"Next time, don't start the presentation by asking, 'Can you tolerate ambiguity?'!"
This town ain't big enough for the one million, five hundred and thirty two thousand of us.
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