Attending Auctions Gifts

Moderne Auction Today - This end up!

"SOLD - for £30 million to the man with more money than sense!!"

"And for lot 27 we have another old tennis ball."

'Going...Going...Gone! Sold to the lady with more money than sense.'

E-Baying @ The Moon

Invisible clothes

Sold! For £42,000 to the... No wait - it's the wrong way round!

An early Picasso painting is sold at auction - it is a painting from when Picasso was a child

"Twenty-five thousand, do I hear thirty thousand? Let me remind you all - this is the last Thin Mint cookie in the sleeve..."

"I'm sorry, honey. I thought you'd be happy that your germ-ridden blanket was such a hit on eBay."

'Did you auction off our house on eBay?'

I e-bay t-shirt.

"I got it from eBay."

The Derby- Horse Auction at Tattersall's

"I'm sorry, I can't assist with this request."

'You bought it - you can lie in it!'

"I got the cream, but the bulk of the old lady's estate is going to auction."

I think you just paid £5000 for cricket box, not a box at the cricket.

This isn't a good time to see him --- He just got outbid for a soul on eBay. Beelzebub.

'Greece is up for auction on eBay - and there's no bidders.'

'Enough EBAY already!'

"... $3 million, I have $3 million. Can I get $4 million? Yes, $4 million ..."

'That's a decent offer but if I wanted to sell my soul, I would put it up for bids.'

I brake for anything discarded that I can bring to the antiques roadshow.

'It sold for how much!'

'Now, a real collectable to bid on: a signed first edition of The First History of the World.'

"The memorabilia auction was a huge flop."

'Maybe that will teach you not to buy a manure spreader without seeing it first.'

'Yes, there is a bidding war - but I'm almost certain you aren't allowed to take prisoners.'

Important balloons, $30.

'Sold! $287,500 to bidder #349!'

'Stamp auction' WW2 Victory stamps on two fingers

"I call him auction man - his hair is going, his teeth are going, his sex drive has gone."

Auctioneer of the Year: Edward Hammerhands.

"Going, going, gone! Sold to the man at the back being beaten with an umbrella!"