Atomic Aftermath Analyst Gifts

Chernobyl, 30th anniversary

"I'm going to need a little more for the root cause than, who'da thunk."

Truth

"Wait, am I hear for you or are you here for me?"

'You'll find there's no middle ground with Kirk Knoland.'

'Stocks plummeted on news of your demise.'

"He really isn't bad, per se, but he is kind of a jerk."

'For our next party, let's invite a carpenter, a painter and an upholsterer so they can help us clean up afterward.'

"It's a good show, but I'm pretty sure it's a limited series."

'Maximising shareholder value doesn't count.'

'Gentlemen, I'd like to introduce you to our new 'health and safety' officer.'

'You certainly lived a remarkable life. Any chance you'll get over yourself?'

Tonight 'Richard III' a new play by William Shakespeare.

Postcards from Heaven...

Let's see...number 61...the painting's name is 'Calamity'.

"The last thing I remember was asking my broker if all my money had been in risk-free bonds."

'You still can't take it with you, but we now offer cloud storage for intellectual properties.'

"If you can't take it with you, this must be Hell."

"I knew there was something wrong when he stopped reading the obituaries."

"At first I thought it was just coincidence, then I noticed it corresponded perfectly to your shift."

"Arrghh! - I came around the corner and tripped over that sign!"

'Earth became too small. I had to opt for a bigger planet for hell.'

'Edward de Vere? -- give me a break!'

"Is it always so cloudy?"

"I hope your day is going bad."

Damned if you do...

'Apparently it's not enough to say that 'lots of people think we do a jolly good job' anymore.'

"You didn't fill out our customer survey."

'Hell grew too large for earth. I had to relocate it to a larger planet.'

'I'm new up here...where are the men?'

'So do I get the job or not?'

'No dear, I do not think it's time we homo sapiens apologised to the Neanderthals.'

....Today the new economic forecasts get published...and that means we have to work overtime...sorry.

Possible Merger Talks

"I'm expecting easy confirmation."