Atomic Aftermath Analyst Pillows

Chernobyl, 30th anniversary

"I'm going to need a little more for the root cause than, who'da thunk."

Truth

"Wait, am I hear for you or are you here for me?"

'Stocks plummeted on news of your demise.'

'You'll find there's no middle ground with Kirk Knoland.'

'For our next party, let's invite a carpenter, a painter and an upholsterer so they can help us clean up afterward.'

"It's a good show, but I'm pretty sure it's a limited series."

'Maximising shareholder value doesn't count.'

'Gentlemen, I'd like to introduce you to our new 'health and safety' officer.'

'You certainly lived a remarkable life. Any chance you'll get over yourself?'

Tonight 'Richard III' a new play by William Shakespeare.

Postcards from Heaven...

"I knew there was something wrong when he stopped reading the obituaries."

"The last thing I remember was asking my broker if all my money had been in risk-free bonds."

Let's see...number 61...the painting's name is 'Calamity'.

"If you can't take it with you, this must be Hell."

'You still can't take it with you, but we now offer cloud storage for intellectual properties.'

"At first I thought it was just coincidence, then I noticed it corresponded perfectly to your shift."

"Arrghh! - I came around the corner and tripped over that sign!"

"I hope your day is going bad."

'Earth became too small. I had to opt for a bigger planet for hell.'

"Is it always so cloudy?"

Damned if you do...

'Edward de Vere? -- give me a break!'

'Apparently it's not enough to say that 'lots of people think we do a jolly good job' anymore.'

Possible Merger Talks

'No dear, I do not think it's time we homo sapiens apologised to the Neanderthals.'

'So do I get the job or not?'

'I'm new up here...where are the men?'

"I'm expecting easy confirmation."

....Today the new economic forecasts get published...and that means we have to work overtime...sorry.

'Hell grew too large for earth. I had to relocate it to a larger planet.'