Atmospheric Explorer T-Shirts

'Harold, you moron, you're standing on smog!'

...and then I...wait....What's that?? Whoa! We're on a spaceship! This is fun! Hey! What's this button do? Can I pull this lever? Are we there yet? Take a selfie with us? Do we get snacks? Can I drive? Are we there yet? Something we said? Just imagine if we'd been obnoxious!

"Our light bill is astronomical living next to a black hole."

"Waiting for the vaccine launch."

'The church says the Earth is flat, but I know that it is round for I have seen the shadow on the Moon, and I have more faith in a shadow than in the Church.'

Alien David statue

Outer Space Outsourcing

"Something very big buried a lot of bones here."

Swinging on a star.

"Look what I found, dad!"

Painting clouds

"Abduction 101, when abducting eggs from a primitive planet always lower the temperature in the ship!"

'But what is the universe for?'

"Good Lord! Life on Mars...adorable life on Mars!"

"This year we decided to vacation on the 3rd rock."

"Houston, we have a problem."

"You and your, 'why bother to learn another language. Everyone in the known universe speaks, Zarconian'!"

God Sneezes Out Creation

How we imagined A.I. in 1977. . . How it's looking today. . .

'You forgot to pay the gravity bill, didn't you?'

Man, my cat sneaks into the weirdest spots.

Alien Snowmen

"Would you relax? They never look up."

"I brought back important data on that blue planet called Earth."

'Oh for heaven's sake, you're a cow. Just eat grass and be happy.'

The flies have landed.

"It's the dawn of a new era"

'They're just like us, except they watch more television.'

The First Martian Dog.

"I understand this diner has quite a reputation."

'...heard the one about the Venusian, the Martian and the Saturnian?'

Friends and enemies of the Earth.

How am I abducting?

Mayhem, Inc. Part 1: Prologue

"Hey! If you're here to marvel at the smallness of your existence within a glorious, vast and unknowable universe, there's a line!"