Athletic Training Aficionado Gifts

Course of Training for Rugger Novices

"Approaching 10,000 steps."

"I hope you are enjoying the walk..."

"You think you can? Think again, mister. You know you can. Got that?"

Coach to football players: 'And no cuddling!'

"All I do is swim and eat plankton, but do I lose weight?"

"A squirrel, impressive! I'm still chasing a stick."

I'm going to practice on you before I start managing other people.

Be Healthy

'Not that sort of body building program!'

'Run, run, as fast as you can!'

"It's a new work-out video. It shows a mother chasing after three little children all day."

'I never should have ordered the diet platter.'

"If we carry them home we’ll get at least one workout."

"They met in the express-checkout lane at the A.&P. and have slowed down only occasionally ever since."

'I feel like exercising. Have you seen my tennis shoes?'

'Twenty years ago I began jogging five miles a day - could you tell me where I am?'

I think this interleague play is getting out of hand.

"We hang like this for the incredible ab workout."

"Ok, let's get those knuckles up off the ground, arms way up high now, feet wide apart. . ."

Running

Man using exercise bike being chased by dog

"I work out in preparation for being out of shape for the next 30 years."

"Migration ruins my 10,000 steps."

"Wait! Don't start the chase now: I need to stretch first!:

"O.K. you're ready to go on to the less embarrassing weights."

The rock caricature

'You need to stay away from the pie in the sky.'

"OK, ready to go again?"

'He's got abdominal pain, dizziness and soreness in his extremities. I'll know more when I see X-rays...'

"To be clear, I said I want your 'A' game, not your 'Eh?' game."

"Breathe in and reimagine yourself in a world where you lived a healthy lifestyle."

Perils of the double play.

"Right now Arnold Schwarzenegger is doing sit-ups."

Brad Pitt