Athletic Skills Gifts

'Originally he was the mascot until we discovered he had a golden foot.'

"You think you can? Think again, mister. You know you can. Got that?"

I like the Jets...I guess

Football Fans

Coach to football players: 'And no cuddling!'

Church for sports worshipers.

"Portrait of a Lady"

'What distance! Pity it wasn't the hammer!'

'Hang in there, Larry, those endorphins will soon kick in.'

"He tested positive for a new fever ... TB12."

"Good game, good game, nice game, namaste, good game, nice game ..."

'Another football scholarship offer?'

'I don't understand why you always put me in goal?!'

'This wasn't quite the fairytale ending that Colin had anticipated...'

"I can't decide. I'm having a brand identity crisis."

10K Run: Smoker's Lane.

Pete Sampras

Race track - with the race being to apply the white lines between lanes

A married couple share the same pole vault.

Raheem Sterling

At the 2021 Religious Games

'You must be fast, agile and unflappable! Having fun just got serious ponies....welcome to gymkhana!

"You can't compare apples and oranges because oranges have longer legs."

Runner collapsing over the finishing line.

'How many times have I told you not to hit the ball with your head?'

Running

I think this interleague play is getting out of hand.

"It's Zeus' latest obsession."

'Why couldn't you throw like that in the game?'

My coach wants me to go to soccer camp. Focusing on one sport isn't good for you. But mom! I'll develop crucial life skills. Let's see. "Landing endorsements, agents and college sports scholarships." The definition of "crucial".

"Empty again? What's going on around here anyway?"

Agility God

Football

'I'm not quitting! Who knows if i'll ever get another chance to break a hundred!'

"Good news...I found a doctor who says you can still play!"