Atf Agent Gifts

'The fun begins when we go through airport security.'

'Where was the TSA?'

"I'll have the Investigator's Special."

'Look - a starfish, its manager, its agent, its minders, its significant other, its make-up artist, its personal trainer, its secretary, its astrologer, its feng shui consultant...'

"Seth, here, is one of the best young creative compromisers in the business."

Henry the amazing talking dog.

Enterpe, Terpsichore, Calliope, and Bernie, their agent.

"OK, we may not have ways of making you talk, but we do have ways of making your leg twitch uncontrollably."

"Great news, I've booked you two stag nights, a hen party and fourteen solemn thanksgiving services for members of the theatrical profession"

Japanese Whaling

'We're looking for somebody to work on our new top secret project. Can you tell me what kind of experience you have?'

"I love being your agent, Nick, but the guys making the really big bucks now are the managers. Let me be your manager."

CIA, 'Confound it, Ruggles -- we're SUPPOSED to be worrywarts'

"Or we could raise your profile by coming out with that pimple on the end of your nose."

'Yes I'm sure we can find an opening for you, Mr Smith!'

Stan Mack's Real Life Funnies: The David Letterman Show Goes to the Dogs, Cats, Birds, Guinea Pigs...

"Well, I have an opening in Cloverdale Mall ... let me hear you say Ho Ho Ho."

Meet Santa's entourage

"With the fortune we have spent in technology, informers and spies around the world, how is it possible that you still haven't found where the heck is Wally?"

Snow White and her Seven people.

'Because I'm so sick of those movies, now go get me a romantic comedy.'

"Hacking and eavesdropping are my top skills. I guess you could say I'm a good listener."

THEATRICAL AGENCY, 'We have an opening to do some commercials - How'd you like to be the LEAST interesting man in the world?'

"Face it - in this town, either you're a star or you're just another brown dwarf."

'Oh, the guru is up on the next peak -- I'm his agent.'

'Michelle's Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms'

"I'm thinking action roles might not really be your thing."

"Er. . . anything else?"

"You played yourself in your last picture. Everyone found it unconvincing."

'The best gig I can get you for your comeback, Lazarus, is DJ in the graveyard slot.'