Astrophile Entertainers Gifts

Martha Stewart Takes Over The Universe

"Something very big buried a lot of bones here."

Outer Space Outsourcing

"Hi there! - I'm the world's first eco-friendly comedian... All My Jokes Are Recycled...!"

"Please! No harmonizing during ululations!"

'You realize, of course, there's a seven-day waiting period.'

"They retired me. Just like that. Seems I'm no good over 55 mph anymore." "How does that make you feel?" "Like I want to bash my head against a wall!"

'Hunting and gathering doesn't sound very interesting, so I have decided to become a consultant.'

"You run into a window, too?"

'I'm dreaming of a green Christmas, with every recycled Christmas card I write...'

"I must have pressed the wrong button."

"I'm putting you on country music."

"Did you really think you were getting in here?"

'My acne is worst on the dark side.'

'Ha! You moron! How did you manage to use all nine of your lives at once?'

Special Place in Hell...

"No, I'm afraid Pluto is never in the dog house."

"I'll have whatever they're having."

The sun going to work each day in order to support life.

'Okay, now I'm hoping he's right...'

'It's really nothing - Looks like baby boomer age spots.'

"Delusional scientific elitist..."

'It's Howard Schultz calling. Does newly discovered planet Kepler 186F have an atmosphere suitable for a starbucks.'

"Ready? It's your bloopers tape."

Waxing: 3 Clams

"Of course we have unlimited data..."

'Please come down, Reverend Brewster -- We really DID like your sermon!'

Heaven on the Phone to Hell - 'We've got Sky.'

Recent Evidence for the Existence of Dogs

'Throw in a few bells and whistles and this baby will sell.'

Hospital bed shortages

'Are you paying attention Eurasia?' 'Sorry, I was drifting.'

'We lit the fire and we're cooking the meat.' 'Hey - easy with the technobabble.'

"Don't you hate that? Now I think of the perfect last words!"

'That looks nothing like me.'