Astro-thinker T-Shirts

'Harnessing the Black Hole.'

"Good game."

'It's a nice idea. A bit rough around the edges but I'm sure it will evolve given time.'

'The church says the Earth is flat, but I know that it is round for I have seen the shadow on the Moon, and I have more faith in a shadow than in the Church.'

"I'll bet your're a Taurus. Right?"

'I pledge allegiance to the atom, and to the periodic table on which it stands, many particles indivisible, with orbitals and electrons for all.'

"You're going to have to submit to peer review eventually, Bradshaw!"

Outer Space Outsourcing

"Oh, great - They changed the Meaning of Life again."

'BANG' and a cosmology institute appears.

"An un-observed universe ceases to exist. Yeah right!"

Chiller Theatre

"What the... mine are lunar eclipse glasses!"

"I don't know… Did you try Googling it?"

"The universe is expanding! Of course I'm expanding too!"

Zenemies.

"Did you remember to back up the last 4.5 billion years?"

"When we're home, are we still aliens?"

"Hey! If you're here to marvel at the smallness of your existence within a glorious, vast and unknowable universe, there's a line!"

'This is embarrassing. By MY calculations, the universe should have collapsed in on itself last Wednesday.'

How life on Earth really got its start.

'...and at this point I'm afraid the tax laws become totally theoretical.'

"Earth – Love the brand, hate the owners."

'Yeah, I don't have trouble remembering my times tables, but I stink at algebra...'

'Oh-oh -- What hath He wrought now?'

Newton's Cradle Solar System

'Warning: Use of oversized apertures or antennas will void warranty,'

'Three zillion, five hundred trillion and sixty seven billion light years from Zog and now you tell me you've forgot to cancel the milk!'

NASA, 'I thought I smelled oxygen!'

"It's scary that humans are our benchmark for intelligent life in the universe."

Questions

Couple stargazing: 'Now a word from our sponsor...'

'How can I get my baby to sleep?'

"Uh-oh - climate change."

God with Earth Controller