Astro-trader T-Shirts

"I'd like to explore the futures market."

"I'll bet your're a Taurus. Right?"

"Something very big buried a lot of bones here."

"The stars were much more beautiful from Earth."

"What the... mine are lunar eclipse glasses!"

"...Ooh, I wanna know more about your dark side!"

"I thought the cake came out awfully dense."

It is said there is a black hole in the middle of the galaxy. But heaven knows what it looks like!

'Warning: Use of oversized apertures or antennas will void warranty,'

"I'm dating a lunar astronaut!"

'Three zillion, five hundred trillion and sixty seven billion light years from Zog and now you tell me you've forgot to cancel the milk!'

NASA, 'I thought I smelled oxygen!'

'No kidding! I'm a Leo too!'

Asteroid Bennu

Houston, we've just found those lost socks people talk about...

Astrology meets computer science. You think all computers are gemine? Yeah, they're born under a binary system.

Water divining Mars

'Harnessing the Black Hole.'

It says, you're going to meet a nice Pisces for a romantic dinner.

"No, I'm afraid Pluto is never in the dog house."

'Hmphh, your horoscope says you're going to have a date, with a Taurus, and I'm a Gemini.'

"Your gut bacteria may change from living in space."

A giant diamond hurtles through space toward a population of very conflicted women.

Only in the newspapers.

'My client was hit by space junk...we need to know who in the world is responsible so we can sue!'

The Dark Side of the Moon.

'It's Howard Schultz calling. Does newly discovered planet Kepler 186F have an atmosphere suitable for a starbucks.'

". . . and in the corner to my right, weighing 217 pounds, fighting as a Capricorn with Capricorn rising and Mars conjunct Uranus in the fifth, out of Beaufort, South Carolinaaa. . ."

'Today's horoscope...Uranus is shining brightly and you'll have a chance encounter with a Leo...Huh!...what a load of mumbo jumbo'

'I think I'm having an out-of-body experience.'

Man sun bathing from Earth to the Sun

'Bugger!'

"According to my readings the moon really is made of cheese. Judging by its consistency, I think we've landed in Brie!!"

"Romance beckons, don't hold back, adventure awaits, Pisces in picture..."

"Jupiter is in the Ram, which is bad news for the 17.23."