Atomic Thinker T-Shirts

I'm a nuclear physicist.

"Good game."

'It's a nice idea. A bit rough around the edges but I'm sure it will evolve given time.'

"Finally, after years of work, irrefutable proof that I'm a nerd."

'The church says the Earth is flat, but I know that it is round for I have seen the shadow on the Moon, and I have more faith in a shadow than in the Church.'

'I pledge allegiance to the atom, and to the periodic table on which it stands, many particles indivisible, with orbitals and electrons for all.'

"You're going to have to submit to peer review eventually, Bradshaw!"

Outer Space Outsourcing

Wolf Danny With "Random""The work must be tantamount to mayhem. Making an insatiable public confused, indifferent, annoyed—this is the premise on which rests my deliberately vacuous oeuvre."

"Oh, great - They changed the Meaning of Life again."

'BANG' and a cosmology institute appears.

Chiller Theatre

"An un-observed universe ceases to exist. Yeah right!"

'Thanks to the internet it is now possible to be extremely well-informed and completely wrong at the same time!'

"I'm in a catch-23 situation."

Sigmund Freud.

"Did you remember to back up the last 4.5 billion years?"

"Hey! If you're here to marvel at the smallness of your existence within a glorious, vast and unknowable universe, there's a line!"

Zenemies.

"When we're home, are we still aliens?"

"The universe is expanding! Of course I'm expanding too!"

"I don't know… Did you try Googling it?"

'This is embarrassing. By MY calculations, the universe should have collapsed in on itself last Wednesday.'

"Space is curved and time is relative? Yeah, OK...I'm calling you a cab right now, buddy."

Lots of personal improvement classes are going on down there. The white blood cells are teaching a self-defense class. The neuron is instructing others about improving communication skills. And a proton and cornea cell have teamed up to teach a class on staying focused and positive! Is the helium atom participating in any of this? No, he thinks he's above it all!

Large, wrinkly

"I condensed my painting to the pure essence of the message. What helps me a lot is the fact that I've got nothing to say at all."

"I was going to call it 'Empty Plinth', but then I settled on 'Winter's Smile'...I wanted to capture the 'nothingness' of an 'absence of anything'..."

"He gets easily abstracted."

Higher wisdom...

How life on Earth really got its start.

"I never subscribed to Hobbes' state of nature theory until the night we left the kids without a sitter."

Admissions test for the Danbury Institute of Philosophy

"Earth – Love the brand, hate the owners."

Do you ever wish you lived in a different era, Randy? It's safer to keep me where I am. Injecting my advanced virility into more primitive eras could have disastrous effects on the timeline. Well