Assertiveness Trainer Gifts

Assertiveness Training: Barge Right In.

"Tonight! Author book signing." "Develop your inner raging bitch."

"Once upon a time, there was a princess who wasn't about to take anyone's sh*t."

"Can you give me a haircut that says, 'If you mess with my budget I'll rip out your soul, wring it like a dish towel, and drink it from a teacup'?"

"You need to stand up for yourself, or at least sit up straight."

Zombie pet tricks.

"We only got up to three 'whys' and a 'what the hell'."

Becoming The Good Boy They Say You Are

Always remember...you're the best you in the world.

"Your answers sound rehearsed."

Ego Increasing School

Project Manager Showdown

'This resume is incredible. Would you be able to lie this well under pressure?'

'What else do you have going for you besides being aggressive?'

"Well, I'm going to have to disagree with you because that's how I deal with my insecurities."

"Sorry honey, I'll be late. The boss told me to stay."

'Going to Puppy School is so old fashioned Dad: I can do the course through open learning now...'

Interviews.

"Where would you say you are on the confidence/cockiness spectrum?"

'I give the same advice to all new teachers. Pretend you know what you are doing.'

'Great white shark! Where do they get that 'great' stuff? Know how hard that is to live up to?'

He did special exercises to stay calm during his evaluation.

"Well, I guess that old saying really is true: the squeaky wheel gets the grease!"

Caution: Feeding the dogs under the table leads to the next inevitable step.

"Science has proven that if you don't know what you're talking about, people will still take you seriously if you act like you do...Especially if you back it up by saying 'Science has proven' it."

The great and near-great

'You've got to be more assertive. You can't just say 'Cock-a-doodle-maybe-do.'

The perfect relationship

"All that money spent at the dog training school was well worth it."

"No, I said 'sit'."

"It isn't quite how I pictured it, either."

The Dog Breeder and His Son

Woman to dog: 'This is you, Rex! Now start acting like you're registered!'

"Forget your 'inner puppy' - fetch!"

"Well, I admire your assertiveness, but you might want to work on your people skills!"