Assertiveness Maestro Gifts

"Tonight! Author book signing." "Develop your inner raging bitch."

'Unbelievable: My cowboy expects me to drop everything and come running when he whistles...'

"Once upon a time, there was a princess who wasn't about to take anyone's sh*t."

Bassoons.

"I guess someone got up on the wrong side of the podium today."

Your Guide to Winning Movember

Performance management: "We decided to get rid of the carrot and keep the stick."

A dancing man wearing a red-striped top

Computer Music

New Fads For The Handlebar Mustache

"I think she marked yours in blue pen because she used up all her red on mine."

'What else do you have going for you besides being aggressive?'

Ventriloquism For Beginners.

'It's worse than outsourcing. Instead of hiring foreign labor, they got bought out by foreign management.'

Skeleton model kit assembly instructions.

"Well, I guess that old saying really is true: the squeaky wheel gets the grease!"

Spinning Plates!

'You've got to be more assertive. You can't just say 'Cock-a-doodle-maybe-do.'

'I will now play a selection of digital audio files I downloaded today.'

Fifty ways to style your nasal hair.

"Well, I admire your assertiveness, but you might want to work on your people skills!"

The Violin Artist

"After giving advice for decades, my doctor gave me some. He suggested I quit sitting all day."

'I just love to watch you get the sales staff fired up, Johnson.'

'Nothing to do? Why don't you read the refrigerator.'

"Could you keep still?"

'It appears she's none of her grandmother's subtlety.'

"Wow! Nice job on that display, Baldo! Just don't tell the boss. He'll make you do more."

Orchestra

Ballet Beggar.

"Hey, folks - assuming everyone is on board, and barring any unforeseen technical glitches - it's showtime."

Not many people pulled off the Movember look this well!

It's a model.

'Welcome to 'Basic Conducting' - would the man in row 2 like to share with us his expectations.'