Assertiveness Explorer Gifts

'Actually, what makes you think I suffer from insufficiency syndrome?'

"Tonight! Author book signing." "Develop your inner raging bitch."

"Once upon a time, there was a princess who wasn't about to take anyone's sh*t."

"You need to stand up for yourself, or at least sit up straight."

"So...do you have a job now?"

Free-Floating Anxiety

Ego Increasing School

"Returning to standard time is always difficult. I gain an hour of worrying."

"Hell: The Airport"

Teen's Comet

'What else do you have going for you besides being aggressive?'

"You call that worrying?"

'I can remember when paranoia was unusual.'

"So, Ms. Medusa. Let's talk about this fear of snakes you mentioned. Do you notice that it causes anxiety?"

"Honey, is the car filled up? My project here is finished and after my lunch I'm taking a new job in South America."

"Science has proven that if you don't know what you're talking about, people will still take you seriously if you act like you do...Especially if you back it up by saying 'Science has proven' it."

"My main worry is my anxiety."

"I feel we're almost down to bedrock, Mr. Bonwell."

"Then there was the dream where I woke up in a pool of melted butter."

"Well, I guess that old saying really is true: the squeaky wheel gets the grease!"

'You've got to be more assertive. You can't just say 'Cock-a-doodle-maybe-do.'

"My parents are nice, school's going well, and I'm basically a good kid. Unfortunately, there's no money or fame in being normal."

'When I call for the time and temperature, they say 'Who wants to know?''

If I'm a hypochondriac, what does that make YOU?

'Well, you're not a hypochondriac, you only THINK you're a hypochondriac!'

Half full. Optimist. Half empty. Pessimist. Pragmatist.

"But my real dream is gettin' paid lotsa money for doin' nothin'."

"Well, I admire your assertiveness, but you might want to work on your people skills!"

'You have an irritable vowel syndrome.'

From the tournament of neuroses parade

"We've discovered the part of the human brain that activates achievement is located right next to the section that governs how much you look out the window."

'Your glass is half full!'

What's that? - 'I've written a list of my anxieties.' - 'To help you tackle them 'head on'?' - 'Err... not exactly.' - 'To help put things in perspective?' - 'I just like writing lists, really.' -

"Good ephening."

"-But APART from 38" 22" 36" what else do you want to be, Cynthia?"