Assembly Worker Gifts

"Relax Mr Dobbs, our interviews are very informal so please take a seat."

"Living in a city with functional infrastructure must be so boring."

"Yes. I said 2 by 2, but you needed to use 2 by 4s for the Ark...begin again."

'Why couldn't you just give him a bucket and shovel?'

Claus 2.0

Pipe Dream.

"I'm going to need a little more for the root cause than, who'da thunk."

Polluted geese

"In the whole length and breadth of this world there is no more admirable a spot for a man and his dog to pass the time than the local Home Depot."

"Yes, I know they fit, it's just not what I pictured for a three car garage!"

"As I understand it, after this scaffolding comes down the city will be done."

Unpopular Street Signs: Road Work Behind, Speed Jump Ahead, Good Luck, Slow Distracted Adults.

'I found the termites!'

This will be an environmentally sound house built entirely from trees that fell over naturally from old age.

Another All Steel Home Built By Wit Construction.

"On the eighth day, God found a lot of assembly parts left over."

"I fear one day our jobs will be taken over by technology."

'You've reached McWit Quality Construction. If your foundation has cracked, press 1, if your plumbing is leaking press 2, if your house is collapsing, press 3 ...'

Motivation to work

'We've knocked out the interior walls to improve our home Wi-Fi coverage.'

"Jimmy, I want you to meet our new safety officer."

Another Turning Point in the Industrial Revolution. Ford Motor Co. On second thought, let's put the cars on the conveyor belt.

'I'm afraid that serves you right for not wearing your safety goggles!'

'Stop saying 'how high?' until I say 'jump'.'

'...we have every new employee spend time on our assembly line. Eight hours, no breaks.'

Crane operator Jimmy Morrison liked to break in new guys by giving them what he called a 'sky wedgie.'

Coming Soon - Maternity Clinic. Coming Soon After - Law Firm Dealing in Medical Malpractice.

"Somehow, they get exempted from a lot of laws."

'Don't worry. They say the first 24 months of living in a house during remodeling are the hardest.'

'You say the ARKS are NOT two by two?'

There is nothing more satisfying that peeling the film off a brand new building.

'Say baby - 'come live with me and be my love, and we will all the pleasures prove, that valleys, groves, hills and fields,woods or steepy mountain yields' - Marlowe.'

'You're using 14' nails on a 2' door? This is definitely a case where bigger is not better.'

'I'm no expert, but I think we're a little behind when it comes to the latest industry technology.'

"We could have been here sooner, but we wanted to wait until the beautiful Yellow Brick Road was built."