Aspirational Lifestyle Fan Gifts

"Today on Escape to the Country Emily & Oliver are looking for that special little property in the Cotswolds. So what exactly's going to tick all their boxes?"

Hamish Harris. The boy bon vivant.

Punk Reindeer

Why weren't we born rich instead of beautiful?

REPENT! Get back to nature

'I wouldn't bother. They're probably gluten-free vegetarians.'

'Oh no...I'm living the dream.'

'This is cow country, pal, and we're not real big on innovation.'

". . . and they lived happily ever after. . . in an aspirational sort of way."

"The early bird may get the worm, but the late bird gets delicious table scraps."

"The coffee is free, but now we rent the tables."

Nobody warned Marge that a side effect of a hip replacement is feeling more hippy.

'We've been tailgating so long, I think we might be homeless.'

'Naw, man! I ain't never worked in no animal hospital...'

"This is the main house, plus there's a cottage on the property where your Lyft driver would live."

'They say pot makes you less motivated, but I've already been to Taco Bell eleven times today.'

"It's our best seller. Perfect for sitting idly by."

"That's Fred. He was raised by bats..."

Show Mom You Love Her!

Crusty Bread

'Sid slithers to a different drummer.'

"I lost 5 pounds and you didn't even notice!"

Landmark selfie

Summer Road Work

"I had the usual religious upbringing, but then I converted."

Temp Agency Personnel. Where do you see yourself in five weeks?

Keith Richards

Rich Cow: 'Kalista Flockheart'

The rivalry between the Hamptons and Cape Code spills over.

I like him. He makes me almost laugh.

rich woman on horseback

"I'll be doing my deliveries naked this year, Mrs. Claus!!"

Nudist Colony/Unbrushed Hair Colony

"Aren't you forgetting something?"

'It's a nonesie.'