Aspirational Eaters Gifts

"I'll be the best side dish ever."

'We can order Lebanese, Thai, Italian, Indian, Greek or Chinese...'

'We call it the 'Tomato Surprise' because the chef tinkered with the DNA a little.'

Why weren't we born rich instead of beautiful?

'I want to give my children all the things I never had. Then move in with them.'

"One spaghetti, and two straws please."

Somewhere in France - The Eliot sisters come face to face with escargots.

'Thank goodness for clumsy children: A spilt ice-cream!'

"The Halloween Special is the pork and kraut. It'll come back and haunt you."

"I'm unable to process this image."

'I wish I hadn't coloured in all that bread, now.'

Children's Dream Dinners: Superhero Special

"So, I went into this fancy new butcher shop and they were selling ostrich of all things!"

"Today on Escape to the Country Emily & Oliver are looking for that special little property in the Cotswolds. So what exactly's going to tick all their boxes?"

'Oh no...I'm living the dream.'

"Tastes great, less killing!"

"Habanero ..."

"What's cookin', Tia Carmen?"

"Young man, the world is your oyster, but for God�s sake avoid peanuts, soy, milk, eggs, wheat, fish, tree nuts, and chocolate."

Access Denied!

". . . and they lived happily ever after. . . in an aspirational sort of way."

Roadkill Restaurant

"What's the 'Chef's Surprise'? That's his reaction when you actually eat it."

"Trust me, it tastes good – you won’t like it."

'It's an acquired taste!'

"The insect menu is very popular nowadays."

"...and would you like to enroll her in pre-pre-pre-med or pre-pre-law?"

Ordinarily I'd suggest we'd talk our way out...If only we weren't so God damn tasty!

"You can make your life any way you want it. Don't let your thoughts limit your future. It is possible to achieve your dreams!"

"Throw the rope!! It's a quicksandwich!!"

'O.K. Smarty Pants, here's your fish, cheese, egg, strawberry jam and pickle sandwich with a topping of ice cream and mustard. Pay up!'

"The minimum wage is frozen to give the working poor the chance to aspire to a working wage.

"I'm all for the internet of things - but I hate pop-up ads."

"Jeffrey eats everything, Mom, because no one has told him what he doesn't like."

For some unknown reason, there were no takers for the Flavor-of-the-Month in June.