Aspiration Alchemists T-Shirts

Through sheer willpower, Ben achieved his dream of becoming a butter knife.

Cat with Lion reflection in mirror

And here's the office floor plan. The numbers indicate the recommended sequence in which to step on people on your way to the top.

'That's the first cubicle I ever worked in.'

"But until I do transmute lead into gold, maybe I could interest you in some lovely lead jewelry."

Not thinking BIG enough: Nickel & Dime Bank.

'I want ideas so bold, so wildly innovative, so undeniably brilliant that they retain a shred of originality after everyone picks them to pieces.'

If a moo can rise to the top, so can I.

"I've finally arrived. The C.E.O. stopped saying 'who the hell are you' whenever he sees me."

'There are two types of alchemy - there's organic and there's inorganic.'

'I fetch, but it hasn't helped my career any.'

'You have received a grant from the king - his secret incantation to chant over your experiments.'

"I don't know, it's just the whole Dark Ages thing. It's got me down."

'It's an experiment to stop time.'

"You really shouldn't ask for material things like a bike. At least try for a Porsche."

'Oh no...I'm living the dream.'

"It's a long term goal."

'But why do you want to transmute asparagus into cotton?'

"You'll find I'm highly motivated and ambitious...oh, is this your desk?"

I'm willing to start at the bottom and work my way up to your job..

"Keep up the good work and there'll probably be a nice promotion in it for me."

"Look at her...Gracie is intelligent, optimistic, ambitious..I wish she was one more thing."

Corporate Success

"He's a psychopath with megalomanic tendencies...I like that in a candidate!"

Wall Street has a one way arrow upwards.

Baseball Dreams

'In five year's time?... I see myself on that side of the desk telling you it's a great shame, thanks for all your hard work, but I'm going to have to let you go!'

'I'm trying to turn gold into gasoline.'

'Good - we're finally all on the same rampage.'

What is possible/what is probable.

"Shape up, son! You want to be a dung beetle the rest of your life?"

'I realize money can't buy happiness, so I'm just trying to improve the exchange rate.'

"There's no denying that you are ambitious but we are looking for someone with more dress sense."

"You'd be amazed how just a little soybean meal adds to the protein content of powdered bats wing and next tails."

". . . and they lived happily ever after. . . in an aspirational sort of way."