Aspiring Alchemist T-Shirts

'Our plan is to extract sulphates, bromides, copper, silver and gold from sea water. All we've managed to get so far, however, is salt.'

What else is there to wish for?

"With the caveat that the only certainty in this life is uncertainty, I still want to entertain the possibility of being a pundit when I grow up."

"What's your project for the science fair, Arnold?"

"But until I do transmute lead into gold, maybe I could interest you in some lovely lead jewelry."

"The teacher expects too much of me. She wants me to give it the old college try, and I'm only in grade school."

I think he knows something that we don't know about the uranium molecule.

'There are two types of alchemy - there's organic and there's inorganic.'

'You have received a grant from the king - his secret incantation to chant over your experiments.'

'It's my application to Harvard...'

'It's an experiment to stop time.'

"I don't know, it's just the whole Dark Ages thing. It's got me down."

"How am I supposed to unleash my full potential when I'm always on one?"

"Mr Newton, we have carefully reviewed your work in alchemy and have come to one conclusion: stick to physics.'

Rainbow/Horizon

"The pH level seems a little off."

'But why do you want to transmute asparagus into cotton?'

I want to be a lawn!

'I'm trying to turn gold into gasoline.'

'I found this copy of 'Atlas Shrugged' under his mattress!'

"You'd be amazed how just a little soybean meal adds to the protein content of powdered bats wing and next tails."

Books: Self-Improvement Just keeping up with Joneses.

"The counselor wasn't much help about getting into college. All he said was to study hard and get good grades."

'If this elixir works, I see an over-the-counter version in three years.'

Child with a junior chemistry set in the complaints department.

'Why Isaac Newton kept returning to alchemy...' 'There's just no money in gravity.'

'Have no fear - I'll have the project completed for you in no time.'

'What do you want to be when you grow up?'

"Of course you can't replicate my experiments. That's the beauty of them."

A girl climbs a ladder of books

"Ulrich, that's bad science and you know it!"

"Since I've been using this organic stuff my potions are far more effective."

"After all these years, I'm sure of only one thing: when I heat the liquid, it boils."

"Your immortality tonic may not be worth it, Sol."

"He has a little place in the basement where he's trying to transmute amethysts into antibiotics."