Aspiration Analyst T-Shirts

The Next Big Thing/ The Next Best Thing.

"Where do you see yourself in five minutes?"

'So far, the only dreams I've achieved have been nightmares.'

"So, Ms. Mayfly. Where do you see yourself in five years?"

"This could be the year someone actually goes up there."

Cat with Lion reflection in mirror

'And finally. . . where do you see yourself on the food chain 5 years from now?'

"You really shouldn't ask for material things like a bike. At least try for a Porsche."

Baseball Dreams

'Oh no...I'm living the dream.'

". . . and they lived happily ever after. . . in an aspirational sort of way."

"Last question. Where do you see yourself thirty seconds from now?"

Man Walking Towards His Goal.

"I could have gotten to the top . . . but I wasted all my time in the park."

"Do you have any hopeless little drongos?"

Move Up In The World or Down Hill All The Way.

"Well, this must be as big as I'm supposed to get."

"I'm competitive,cruel,glad when my friends fail...I've no idea why I'm here."

"If you work hard, exploit your employees, take advantage of a pandemic, use loopholes to avoid taxes,hoard your wealth, and in an act of extreme self-indulgent meaningless vanity, you can someday be an astronaut."

"Is this speech pie-in-the-sky nonsense or aspirational?"

'It's a great country kid, anyone can grow up to be security to the president.'

Metaphors.

"I kept following my dreams until my dreams filed a restraining order against me."

"But my real dream is gettin' paid lotsa money for doin' nothin'."

Job Interview, "This company wants a person who is both ruthless and intelligent but who is also too dumb to want to try for my job."

"Today the American public at long last O.D.'d on Pee-wee Herman, briefly settled its attention on Bruce Willis, then finally decided to embrace an all-new, revitalized, state-of-the-art Richard Nixon."

Lincoln elementary school

"Ambitions... to be opened."

"Whenever someone scoffs at dreaming the impossible dream, I tell them to think of Bloomingdale's –the way it was long, long ago, and the way it is now."

'I guess it all started the day my mom said, son, if you put your mind to it, there's nothing you can't do.'

Chasing Dreams

'Come here right now! Dogs can't fly.'

"Well, it's official. The American Dream has become the American Daydream."

Psychometric tests would weed out 25% of all applicants (medical schools).

"True, we could be soaring through the emerald corridors of sunset. What's your point?"