Ambition Analyzers T-Shirts

Job Interview, "This company wants a person who is both ruthless and intelligent but who is also too dumb to want to try for my job."

"This could be the year someone actually goes up there."

My brilliant career

And here's the office floor plan. The numbers indicate the recommended sequence in which to step on people on your way to the top.

The Salesman

Not thinking BIG enough: Nickel & Dime Bank.

"How can you have a meteoric rise to the top in a one-story building?"

'And finally. . . where do you see yourself on the food chain 5 years from now?'

'That's the first cubicle I ever worked in.'

'It could have been worse...she might have chosen banking.'

'What can you wish for?!... Oh, I don't know... Infinite wealth, beautiful women throwing themselves at your feet, fame and admiration, perhaps?... But, don't let me influence you.'

If a moo can rise to the top, so can I.

"My daughter tells me you want to become a doctor."

"So...do you have a job now?"

"I've finally arrived. The C.E.O. stopped saying 'who the hell are you' whenever he sees me."

"Obviously, I can't fly like you, but if you teach me, I can probably sing like you..."

'I've had a few short stories published, but I'd really like to write 'the Great American How to Write a Novel.''

"You used to be that ambitious."

"Two roads diverged in a wood and I... I... I..."

Wall Street has a one way arrow upwards.

I'm willing to start at the bottom and work my way up to your job..

Teen's Comet

"You'll find I'm highly motivated and ambitious...oh, is this your desk?"

"He's a psychopath with megalomanic tendencies...I like that in a candidate!"

"It's not that I'm lazy. But I envisage myself not so much climbing the corporate ladder, as taking the corporate elevator."

"It's a long term goal."

"Look at her...Gracie is intelligent, optimistic, ambitious..I wish she was one more thing."

'In five year's time?... I see myself on that side of the desk telling you it's a great shame, thanks for all your hard work, but I'm going to have to let you go!'

What is possible/what is probable.

"I worked my way up from a goddamn steamboat - I am the American Dream."

'It saves me the trouble of constantly asking myself 'What's my motivation?''

"If we had invented the phone and computer, we would be at the top of the food chain. What a blown opportunity."

'Shouldn't you be somewhere clawing yourself to the top, or something?'

"Shape up, son! You want to be a dung beetle the rest of your life?"

"I started out on a molehill - What about you?"