Ambition Ponderer T-Shirts

'My dad is pushing me to become an alpha male, but frankly, I'd rather be a poet...'

"It's not that I'm lazy. But I envisage myself not so much climbing the corporate ladder, as taking the corporate elevator."

"This could be the year someone actually goes up there."

And here's the office floor plan. The numbers indicate the recommended sequence in which to step on people on your way to the top.

The Salesman

Not thinking BIG enough: Nickel & Dime Bank.

"How can you have a meteoric rise to the top in a one-story building?"

'That's the first cubicle I ever worked in.'

'It could have been worse...she might have chosen banking.'

'What can you wish for?!... Oh, I don't know... Infinite wealth, beautiful women throwing themselves at your feet, fame and admiration, perhaps?... But, don't let me influence you.'

"I've finally arrived. The C.E.O. stopped saying 'who the hell are you' whenever he sees me."

"I knew you were mad when I found nettles in my fig leaf drawer."

"So...do you have a job now?"

If a moo can rise to the top, so can I.

Totalitarian Humour

"My daughter tells me you want to become a doctor."

'I've had a few short stories published, but I'd really like to write 'the Great American How to Write a Novel.''

"Obviously, I can't fly like you, but if you teach me, I can probably sing like you..."

"You used to be that ambitious."

'I didn't expect to have remote controls here.'

I'm willing to start at the bottom and work my way up to your job..

"Two roads diverged in a wood and I... I... I..."

Wall Street has a one way arrow upwards.

"Oh goody! It's just like the Columbian Exposition of 1893."

"You'll find I'm highly motivated and ambitious...oh, is this your desk?"

"He's a psychopath with megalomanic tendencies...I like that in a candidate!"

Teen's Comet

"It's a long term goal."

'How worse? Give me the worst-case scenario.'

'In five year's time?... I see myself on that side of the desk telling you it's a great shame, thanks for all your hard work, but I'm going to have to let you go!'

"What's with kids nowadays? Walking upright's not good enough for you?"

What is possible/what is probable.

"Sure, but what have you invented lately?"

"If we had invented the phone and computer, we would be at the top of the food chain. What a blown opportunity."

'Shouldn't you be somewhere clawing yourself to the top, or something?'