Asana Amateur Gifts

Yoga teacher vs me

Self help acupuncture

"Evidence suggests she was working on the puzzle, got up to make tea, husband enters and puts last piece in..."

"This is a neighbourhood vigilante area."

Yoga classes door.

Detective and child follow footprints using magnifying glasses.

"How long were you in that headstand?"

'I don't actually work for you. I'm a consultant.'

'I have a bad feeling about this place, Watson... and I smell a rat!'

"I'm thinking of giving up yoga! Yesterday my lotus position turned into a cauliflower!"

Banana Yoga

Couples Massage

'I've written a poem describing my feelings on discovering the body, Inspector...'

'We couldn't find anything wrong with your car, so all you owe us is for 2 hours of search.'

'I'm going to ask you one more time; who left a hot mug on this table?'

Optician and the PI.

"That's not the stick, it's a blood-stained satchel full of money... but hey, good boy!"

'So far we don't have any suspects.'

"I knew there was something wrong when he stopped reading the obituaries."

"I found a partial thumbprint. Let's get the heck out of here"

"I'm getting dangerously close to figuring out what I did last night."

'He's not having an affair Ma'am: He goes out at night mainly to chase cars and eat from garbage bins...'

"I love people-watching."

Tangled facing dog...

'Chair Pose' - 'Utkatasana' - 'Mountain Pose' - 'Tadasana' - 'Standing Forward Bend' - 'Kissmyasana'

'Nice try buddy, but we know the score. You were involved, but you only played a small part. What we want to know is who orchestrated this thing.'

"Sorry, water in my ears! What was that?...sharp?...spark?"

To compensate for the stress of news broadcasts, Tina's TV came with a built-in massage system.

'Sometimes I see problems and solutions with such clarity, I feel I've been infused with all the wisdom of the ages... THAT'S when I know I've had too much to drink.'

"You're holding a lot of homophobia in your lower back."

'Now that WE'VE found the secret message we will respond by not telling anyone.'

4 Things Yogis Worry About

"Sorry about the disguise.But we've had to reduce our budget for the 'witness protection programme'."

'If he's innocent, why does he need such a hot-shot lawyer?'

'So far he's self-taught but we thought it time to engage a regular teacher.'