Artificial Plant Admirer Gifts

"They are very realistic, you would never guess that they were rubber."

'We look for a new drug, we find a virus - we look for a new virus, we find a drug...'

The discovery of asparagus.

Hermit Crabapple Tree

'I'd forgotten how lovely it looks outside!'

Bot Art: After da Vinci

"I'm looking for something really dull and repetitive."

'I'm not sure which I like best - the fake fire or the fake man with brandy glass in front of it.'

"Sometimes, Cheryl, I wonder why you only invite me along to cocktail parties."

Robot Painter

Summer wants.

How's your nephew doing in human school this year? Great! He has a calculator and spell checker like last year, and this fall new features have been added. With new translation software he can take language classes now, and for social studies he just clicks "history." Bonjour! I'm so proud! He has the school's highest G.P.A.! Other students can't copy off him anymore because he started using encrypted code. His favorite upgrade is the enhanced ability to process school lunches. He's bee

"I hear you helped make the stuffing. I like raisins."

Employee of the Month

"Shouldn't have, you really."

"Why are all of your answers so mechanical?"

'Vanity, thy name is Maple.'

'It just dawned on me that every time we make a phone call, it's a robocall.'

"A cactus! Darling, you're such a romantic..."

"A laser blaster turns pesky little boys into ferns! Now that would be a cool school supply."

"The difference between us and them is...they can be reproduced by unskilled labour."

David Bellamy

"Sure, he has artificial intelligence, but it's his artificial empathy that won me over."

"Who's the new guy?"

"My 'check engine' light came on."

Paving over the window-box

Now hiring. You seem very motivated. It's my internal drive!

'I am not a robot.'

"Look, I'm doing the human!"

"We were just wondering if you were edible."

'The really scary part is that he is the new head of human resources.'

"Someday our robots will have all our anxieties for us."

"They're talking about birdhouses again. Time to send them birdhouse ads."

'That must be my computer date.'

"My programming does not permit me to process new information."