Artificial Decor Admirer Gifts

'I'm not sure which I like best - the fake fire or the fake man with brandy glass in front of it.'

Cocktails on the verandah.

"The knights of the round accent table"

A child at a museum starts to pull the wrappings off a mummy.

Teapot

Museum. Hours. You're donating your collection of pre-Columbian art? Yes! What's Mayan is yours!

Piles of trash discarded by ancient people are a rich source of artifacts for archaeologists. I unearthed garbage dumps that advanced our understanding of prehistoric societies. On the island of Crete I found ancient trash that increased our knowledge about the Minoan people. And I recently uncovered informative Celtic rubbish. Please stop saying studying ancient cultures by what they threw away is "junk science"!

Six-tier Communal Cradle.

"I fixed your leaky tap and the oven door... but there's nothing I can do with that dodgy seal on the fridge!"

Meekness of Mr Pecksniff and his Charming Daughter

Rape of the Lock- The Toilet

Haunted museum

'This caught my eye; Johann Sebastian needs new study curtains - and he does like a good pattern.'

'Now, a real collectable to bid on: a signed first edition of The First History of the World.'

Cover Design for the Savoy (No. 2)

Ooo, I love that you kept all the exposed fossil.

Android with a computer print out as a scarf

'Termites!'

Sightings reported to Americans for Decency

'...And this property has wall to wall gravel...'

'Well what do you know? There really is plenty of kitsch in the sea!'

Louise Brooks caricature

"Relax. I've come for your toaster."

Mummy is alive at an Egyptian exhibit at a museum.

"Well sure, as art it sucks, but that's a lot of bricks to move."

"We had an expert restore all the original shag carpeting."

Man missing giant shoe, which has been set up as a house.

'Yes, they delivered the piano, but I should warn you about something.'

'I just think we should start dating other artifacts.'

'Would our taxes be any cheaper if we lived in a sketcher?'

Santa uses reindeer parts.

"I once dated an archaeologist - but all she kept doing was digging up the past. . ."

Tourist

"Well, no, I wouldn't expect you to get it."

"They are very realistic, you would never guess that they were rubber."