Home Decor Admirer Gifts

'...And this property has wall to wall gravel...'

When bargain hunters crack.

'Bathrooms. I'm returning it. It's too tight.'

"Ironically, this is the living room."

"And which regional cuisine would you be interested in this evening—Northwester, Southwestern, Southeastern, or Northeastern?"

"This is going to make the most amazing driftwood table."

"Make yourself comfortable on my new decorative throw rocks."

"I may not know much about art, but I do know what's suitable for framing."

Decorated officer - 'And these are for keeping my pants up.'

"The knights of the round accent table"

"Oh, wow! Is that stunning or what?" "Mid-century classic. Should be in a museum. Let's pee on it." "Totally."

"You're welcome."

Four Common Lampshade Mistakes and How To Avoid Them.

Cat statues on entrance gate

'MY husband made the coffee table out of an old door.'

I'm beginning to regret buying that Roomba.

"Pillows for sleeping on are downstairs. These are all for screaming into."

Board Game Hunter

'You do realise that's pot pourii?'

'I'm not sure which I like best - the fake fire or the fake man with brandy glass in front of it.'

"On second thought, mabe it would look better over there."

'I can't move in, Ted - your lifestyle is too modern. And your furniture is way too modern.'

Woman has 3 towels in her restroom: 'Mine', 'Mine' and 'Mine'.

"My feng-shui consultant placed Harold in the closet."

'Welcome to the house warming! The map points out what is furniture and what is sculpture.'

"Pretty cushy, am I right?"

Posh Easter Egg

"Hedge-fund managers have to have something over their sofas, too."

'Ooh, hey...real hardwood floors!'

"I fixed your leaky tap and the oven door... but there's nothing I can do with that dodgy seal on the fridge!"

'Magnolia, Michaelangelo, the ceiling was meant to be magnolia!'

"We want it to look lived in, but not necessarily by us."

"You like it? It’s from the MoMA Store!"

"Okay, lady, your new carpet is installed...you can let your dog back in now."

Meekness of Mr Pecksniff and his Charming Daughter