Artificial Decor Admirer Pillows

'I'm not sure which I like best - the fake fire or the fake man with brandy glass in front of it.'

Cocktails on the verandah.

"The knights of the round accent table"

A child at a museum starts to pull the wrappings off a mummy.

Teapot

Six-tier Communal Cradle.

"I fixed your leaky tap and the oven door... but there's nothing I can do with that dodgy seal on the fridge!"

Rape of the Lock- The Toilet

Meekness of Mr Pecksniff and his Charming Daughter

'This caught my eye; Johann Sebastian needs new study curtains - and he does like a good pattern.'

Haunted museum

Cover Design for the Savoy (No. 2)

Android with a computer print out as a scarf

Sightings reported to Americans for Decency

'Termites!'

'Now, a real collectable to bid on: a signed first edition of The First History of the World.'

'...And this property has wall to wall gravel...'

Mummy is alive at an Egyptian exhibit at a museum.

"Well sure, as art it sucks, but that's a lot of bricks to move."

"Relax. I've come for your toaster."

'Well what do you know? There really is plenty of kitsch in the sea!'

"We had an expert restore all the original shag carpeting."

'Yes, they delivered the piano, but I should warn you about something.'

'I just think we should start dating other artifacts.'

"Well, no, I wouldn't expect you to get it."

"They are very realistic, you would never guess that they were rubber."

Tourist

"I once dated an archaeologist - but all she kept doing was digging up the past. . ."

The Eyes of Herod - Influenced by Whistler's Peacock Room