Artificial Gourmet T-Shirts

"Ah! dehydrogenated non-milk fat solids with a soupcon of deoxyhydropesane and sweetners...just like mum used to make."

'I want to make a positive environmental statement - What do you suggest I order?'

'I can't wait 'til hunting is googling and gathering is calling out for delivery.'

'I'm a vegetarian.' - 'If it's so wrong to eat animals, why are they made out of meat?'

'I go to St. Patrick's Church, I go to St. Patrick's School, and my name is Patrick. Is it also necessary for me to eat green food?'

"This is locally grown and good for the environment, but it may give you greenhouse gas."

"Vegetables, vegetables, vegetables, welcome to my dystopian world!"

Veggie Hall of Fame.

"Being vegan or vegetarian isn't enough anymore. From now on I will only cook stuff I stepped in on the sidewalk."

'We call it the 'Tomato Surprise' because the chef tinkered with the DNA a little.'

"All our donuts are hand fried in what will eventually become biofuel."

Stuffing the turkey.

Sure, I'll take a sandwich

'As far as we know, no one who has eaten our genetically-modified food has turned into a creature or anything.'

'I'm writing a vegetarian cook book.'

Writer and his Muse on a cookout.

"The Bluetooth Special comes with a side order of Wi-Fi."

Cat eating fish from fishbowl.

"Not bad, but it has a sort of plastic aftertaste."

"I didn't realize there was so many different kinds of vegetables!"

O'Malley's Pub. Special: Cloned Beef and Cabbage. Is nothing sacred anymore?

"...and, for those parishioners who insist on a Eucharist made with all organic, locally-sourced ingredients, see Father Maguire at aisle three."

'Eat your lettuce. It'll put colour back in your cheeks.'

'If Darwin had been the cook on the Beagle' 'Menu- its Evolution'.

Microwave confusion.

"I'm getting subtle hints of chlorophyll."

"I didn't know they could make so many entrees with vegetables!"

"I'm not eating a TV dinner. Now it's called 'Computer Cuisine.'"

"Monsieur Proust, we would like to discuss product placement for one of our cakes...."

'Are you sure you washed this salad?'

"I certainly hope you're composting the leftovers."

Chinese Novel Cookie

"It needs a dash of gravel, I reckon."

'Mom always told us to eat the greens!'

'I can't make dinner right now - I'm installing new software.'