Chemical Gourmet T-Shirts

"The menu just says fried fish, but may I give you a more compelling, surprisingly lyrical description?"

'I'll have the bacon and hay wrap.'

"I'm afraid it's not cheese, it's 'cheese-like'."

'We call it the 'Tomato Surprise' because the chef tinkered with the DNA a little.'

'As far as we know, no one who has eaten our genetically-modified food has turned into a creature or anything.'

The Good Feud Guide - 'Delia Smith does a nice roasted Worrall-Thompson.'

Cat eating fish from fishbowl.

"Ah! dehydrogenated non-milk fat solids with a soupcon of deoxyhydropesane and sweetners...just like mum used to make."

"I'm not eating a TV dinner. Now it's called 'Computer Cuisine.'"

Stand back - while I whip something up

'Now watch and listen!'

"It needs a dash of gravel, I reckon."

Frisbee dog catching pizza dough

Chinese Novel Cookie

"I eat the genetically modified flounder all the time and it's delicious."

Chicago School of Home Economics

"All I've got left is smoked."

'I forgot to bring my lunch - could I clone yours?'

"Set phazers to medium rare!"

'How come you never bring meatballs?'

"I still call it a custard tart but to be honest, it's a dairy free, soy fructose mix, with no nuts."

The Additives Arrive...'This cereal tastes like it has some sodium propionate in it.'

'Oh no wonder, this is Extra Virgin Mary Olive Oil.'

Picasso paints AND eats like a child!

"Well, we went through the fruit and veg, and thought we should try something more exotic - like the space-time continuum."

'WIll that be with or without methane, sir?'

Why Shirley hates to eat genetic modified Broccoli.

'These are exquisite! You simply must give me your recipe.'

'My broker advises me to have the pork bellies.'

'WHAT??! 3.695.897 euro for the pizza delivery service??!'

Guru on a mountain top with a take away menu

"Oh, this is terrible! I love it!"

Molecular Gastronomy Restaurant.