Art School Student Gifts

"Its an asymmetric study of value changes, contrasting colors and varied line weights. It's going to be produced as wrapping paper."

The Art Student.

'On your mark. Get set. Create!'

"I think that's one of his early 'blank canvases'. I think there are some bigger ones in the next room."

"You've got a long, long road ahead of you, young man."

'It's good - but it's not digital quality.'

The Artist

"I would like a tube of lemon yellow, cadmium red, cobalt blue, ivory, black, and zinc white, a sixteen-by-twenty canvas, a couple of brushes, and that book 'Painting in Oils'."

"I'm afraid you were drawn too big and not centered on the page."

"An unfortunate museum gift shop." "Banksy activity set." "Jackson Pollock coloring book." "MC Escher building blocks." "Claes Oldenburg miniatures." "Marceau Marceau CDs." "Seurat's connect-the-dots aaAAAAA."

Schools of Art - A Rough Guide.

'Projectile painting.'

The New Fundamentals of Art: 'We'll begin with the most basic figure, the trademark attorney...'

Picasso: The Early Years

"Don't worry, Miss. I'll soon get the hang of it."

"The Leonardos, the Raphaels, Titians, Veroneses, Giottos... Italy wants them back, all 427 of them."

Just call me Picasso!

'I don't care if Jackson Pollock did start out this way. We are drawing kittens.'

'Hold everything! -- The National Endowment for the Arts changed its mind!'

"Judging by the number of 'Polar Bear in snowstorm' paintings the class seems apprehensive using color."

Art Gallery.

School of Art & Design. Looks like they're putting up an addition.

"So, Sandra, what can you tell us about your lovely mood board?"

Vincent Van Og.

German School

Cartooning 101: Figure Drawing

'How can they call it modern art when it's 100 year's old?'

"I like it, honey ... it speaks to what a waste of time your MFA was."

The Best Art Teacher in the World.

"I'm not an Antony Gormley, I am Antony Gormley."

Art Plagiarism

'I've been told I have Rembrandt's golden glow.'

"He had the Guggenheim in mind, I think."

"Have you ever given any thought to what you're going to do after all your hopes and dreams are crushed?"

'Yes, I'm very excited. I really think that I will make my mark as a surrealist miniaturist.'